Don't use fluffy copy and feature statements in a cold email

min read
Anita Kirkovska

Marketing copy and feature statements don't work in a cold email.

Example of a cold copy email

Imagine if Slack in its early days sent you this email:

"Hi {awesome person that is reading this},

We are Slack, and we help you discover a new way of working with your colleagues.

As a leader in your organization, we thought you'll find it interesting how Slack helps with communication and productivity.

Our product can help your team to organize work via project and team channels, align objectives, get access to information via our archives, or get live-voice communication via Huddles.

If this all feels relevant to you - would you be open to having an intro call with us? (15 mins tops)"

Example of a very good copy cold email for outreach

Can you notice the difference if the email was written like this:

"Hi {awesome person that is reading this},

I imagine that your team needs a tool beyond email - to move faster, and accomplish more.

You'd be surprised, better internal collaboration increases productivity by 30%.

Curious to hear how we're helping companies speed up their work?

How to write b2b cold email

So, what is wrong with the first template?

1. Your buyer doesn't care about you or your features

Every time you write an email copy or have a discovery call remember this.

They don't want to hear about your amazing features, they just need to understand how you solve their problems in the shortest time possible!

2. Give them one task

When you're writing a cold email it's easy to be carried away with a lot of information.

Don't make it too complicated - just pick one thing that is #1 priority for you

3. Why so complicated?

Write every email at the 5th-grade reading level.

Write short, and common words.

Add lots of whitespaces and line breaks.

4. Fluff doesn't communicate your value props

For every prospect that you reach out to, you really need to do your homework. Make sure that your list is super targeted, and that you have the X and Y's on why you're reaching out to them.

Then, make sure you communicate the #1 value prop that you want to offer them.

Anita Kirkovska